This is has been a long and difficult week for us as we attempt to minister to the families who were affected by the fire. There are so many families and so few of us, the task seems daunting. However, we decided to “jump in” and see where the Lord would lead us.
For the sake of the privacy of the families, it’s difficult to get information. I totally understand that and agree with that. In fact, we heard this week about someone who dropped by to talk with the parents of one of the deceased children, whose motivation simply seemed to be to hear all the gruesome details surrounding the fire. The parents were troubled and offended that someone would be so insensitive.
That being said, we found a list of the names of the children who died published in the local newspaper. Armed with that list, we began visiting people that we know, asking if they knew any of the families. We began to get leads…..there’s one family that lives over there……we heard that there are three families in that neighborhood……the grandparents of one child run a bakery shop on such-and-such street….my friend has a friend (or co-worker, or cousin, etc.) who lost a child. Little by little we began to piece together a database.
As this information came in, we visited the homes. Knocking on doors, we said that we were pastors, looking for families who had suffered the death of a child in the fire, and were there to show solidarity and offer spiritual support. We prayed with several families. Some invited us to come in…..some offered us something to drink…..some wanted to talk……some were obviously still deeply in grief……
By the end of the second day, we were convinced that we were on the right track. However, this kind of detective work takes time. After four days of searching, we had located and contacted about 1/3 of the families. Late yesterday, we found someone who knew lots of people and in the course of two hours, we got addresses for about 10 more families. Looks like our work is already lined up for next week.
The headlines in the local papers tell the story of the fire, of those who are hospitalized, of those who are marching in protest. There is a lot of finger-pointing happening right now, as the government tries to determine exactly what happened and why the system failed. There are hints of corruption (no surprise there) and some government officials have been fired. Word on the street is that some of the owners of the daycare may have fled the city to avoid prosecution (or lynching). Some of the daycare workers have been threatened, being told that they were irresponsible for not having saved more children from the fire.
But the deeper story here is what is happening in the lives of the families. There is deep sorrow and grief. We have heard of one mom who won’t come out of her bedroom. We are learning the dynamics of some of the young families who were divorced or separated and are laying the blame for the death of the child with the other spouse. We have heard of new spouses being unkind and unsympathetic with ex-spouses (moms who lost kids).
The spiritual aspect of the aftermath tells us much. We have encountered a few families who seem to be exhibiting real faith in the midst of the mourning. Others, not so much. One theme that seems to be recurring is that of surviving brothers and sisters who are comforting their parents. We’ve listened to several first-hand accounts of parents who told us that their kids said, “Mommy, don’t cry. I saw (insert name of deceased child) in heaven. He’s with God and he’s OK. Don’t cry.” We’ve listened to accounts of people who have told us of seeing or hearing their children and some even having conversations with them. But mostly, we’ve listened to parents who simply say, “If I just hadn’t taken him to daycare on Friday, he’d still be here.”
Please pray for the families of the deceased children, please pray for those who worked at the daycare, and pray for those who are attempting to give support and counsel during these difficult days.
